Dirty Protest

Dear Janet

I fail to comprehend why you have begun spending tuppence in the pot of the rubber plant. This is the wrong way to go about attention seeking – if you really need more love and attention than you already receive I would suggest that you do something endearing or droll and not perform any further acts of dirty protest which I find frankly abhorrent.

Come on girl – shape up.

Yours truly,
Crispin