Ladies

Dear Janet

I don’t think you should sulk so much on the rare occasions that I bring young ladies back to the flat.

It is unbecoming of a cat of your breeding and sophistication. I would also like to point out that I did not sulk when you would disappear for hours on end doubtless fornicating with every Tom-Cat Dick or Harry in North London.

Do let us try and be grown ups about this.

Love from

Crispin