The Present

Dear Janet

Please accept my warmest appreciation and heartiest congratulations on the slaying of that mouse. By my reckoning it is your first confirmed kill in almost twenty months. I was overjoyed that you refrained form eating it and instead left it for me as a present and I hereby accept full liability for leaving my new white (Paul Smith) T-shirt in such a ridiculous and irresponsible place as I did on the floor beside my bed. I would, however, like to request that if you intend to repeat the practice that you leave any cadavers, dismembered or otherwise, on a tissue instead of on my clothes and also that, if it is no trouble, you could see your way to placing it in a slightly more prominent position in my room, maybe a bit further away so I see it before feeling it squish between my toes as I rise from my bed.

I would like to thank you again for the lovely gift and hope that you do not take my comments as detracting from my gratitude.

Love from

Crispin