Drinking Water

Dear Janet

I would like you to explain why you insist on drinking the water from my glass beside my bed. You, I’m sure, are full aware that you have your own water in a bowl in the kitchen. You may consider this jovial mischief but frankly you look like an idiot with your face half way down a pint glass and I feel it only fair to point out that you use that same tongue to lick places that I would not. This resultant flavour, however delicate, is one that I would rather not have as an addition to my morning glass of water.

Love from Crispin