Guardian Soulwaste

Submitted by crispi on Tue, 03/02/2009 - 14:25

Right oh so >> i got all jealous about everyone in the world being on Guardian Soulmates (popular UK Internet dating) just before crispmas so i did myself a profile - I was on it before a few years back but that didn't go down very well. I kept sending girls werido messages about shoes and ghosts when i was really pissed and no-one wanted to talk to me apart from one girl who was into tantric sex and wanked off horses for a living (100% TRUE FACT). In the end i had to get a date off match dot com by a girl who lied to me about her name and where she lived and was generally obtuse and hostile the whole time (although she was well fit)... we had a conversation that went like this >

me: right i think i might be off
her: why?
me: well i think we are stuggling to find some common ground
her: who is stuggeling? I'm not struggling
me: well I fucking am

tehn she insisted on buying another round and her being a bit nicer and me being a bit drunker lead to some sexeh tiem, so not a total disaster in the end.

blah blah blah this is not the story > the story is that i decided to put up the truth on my soulmates profile because everyone likes music and traveling and every fucker is fun loving and amiable in the mirror - so this is what i wrote:

Why should people get to know you?
...well in truth you probably shouldn't, I drink too much too often and routinely say things I don't mean just to provoke a reaction. I tell absurd lies constantly, though this is more a want than a compulsion. I can be lewd, brash, flippant, scathing, boring and cynical, I am always 10 minutes late for absolutely everything and I am a terrible show off - also, on Saturday, I told my niece I was texting Father Christmas about how naughty she was and then i pretended to throw her in a wheelie bin and she puked sweets out of her nose.

I am on this thing because I am nosey and vain, not because I am looking for a wife. Also I already went on a weird internet date a couple of years back so I pretty much have this whole thing ticked it off my life goals to do list.

Merry Christmas x

...i had 5 fans the next day so i hid the profile in panic haha I am such a pussy - still, looks like these guardian readers are literally fizzing at the bunghole for a bit of blunt honesty...

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Comments

Submitted by Anon (not verified) on Thu, 10/09/2009 - 19:02.

very interesting post about guardian soulmates dating site review. I dont doubt what youre saying because i know a woman wasnt that good looking, who put a normal profile on that site for 2 weeks and had no views, so they decided to get angry with headlines like... "Why arent u motherfuckers talking. is it because im not cute enough for you cunts. do i need to put afucking naked pic of myself on there of something. etc etc." And not only did the site administrators not censor her profile until almost a week later, but she immediately got 12 replies from interested guys. So, the site is actually quite seedy. Despite the fact, it looks like its full of middle class professional types, the people on there aren't the moral lefties, theyre the liberal ex-pot smoking hedonistic fetishers, looking for someone to fuck until they drop. 90% of the women on that site probably dont even believe in marriage. Very few of them put down marriage as an option in terms of what theyre looking for. I joined it about 1 year ago for about 2 months then left and i had one date with a woman on that site, shes the only woman who messaged me. because women even on the internet like to be chased, esp as they dont have to pay for a sub until someone they like messages them. But she only messaged me because she was prob dating several guys from that site before she met me. I know that because when i arranged the date, we had to meet up and she let slip "oh i had the same problem with the location with a guy the other day." The problem is if you have a one month subscription and youre a woman, women get bombarded with tons of dates, so if youre subscribed for a month, youre going to date lots of guys arent you? youre not going to choose just one guy to date. you want to make the most of your sub because youve paid for it. So it really doesnt work. You then have the other fuckers who have paid up for 6 months, theyre just going to date as many people as possible. youre not going to find someone faithful. plus the website has a forum for subscribers, so those subscribed up just end up using the site as some dossing kill time forum posting shit, like some social network site instead using it as a dating site. the site doesnt work at all. And they dont care at the guardian either, because they want the money. they want long term subscribers because they bring money and traffic to the site, even though long term subscribers fuck up the site's dating potential.

Submitted by Anon (not verified) on Thu, 18/11/2010 - 02:58.

Well.... I've been on Guardian Soulmates for about 3 years now. I wrote a considered profile in which I attempted to strike a balance between the multiple truths that I'd like to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with, but that I'd also be happy to findnshort term relationships and/or friendships. And that also I'd be up for a meaningless shag or two if likeminded people were interested. Of course, you have to be careful how you get an idea like that across, so as to avoid offending anyone who might otherwise be interested in you, but I found it worth the effort.

Over the three years I've had approaching 100 fans (still got over 60), had two relationships that lasted around a year each, both of which have ended up as solid friendhips. I've had probably 7 or 8 3-or-4 time shags, plus a couple of one night stands. I've also met 3 or 4 other people who I still meet up with now again for a drink or a meal, who've never been more than friends, met a few others I enjoyed meeting a couple of times but didn't really think it worth doing it again, met a couple I really liked but who didn't want to meet me again for whatever reason, and met two women who will probably never have a decent relationship because they were just bizarre people.

It probably helps that I'm intellegent, educated, quite good looking, quite trim and fit for a man in his mid-forties, professional, a high earner, and a father of three great kids (who I mention in my profile because they're a big part of my life, I love them dearly and I want anyone I meet to know how big a part of my life they are because if I get involved with someone it's gonna be a big part of our relationship). Oh, and I've got a big cock and I'm pretty good in bed. And guess what? Women seem to like most of what I've got to offer - I think I'm the kind of person they join that site to meet. If they wanted to meet inadequate self-pitying cunts like you they'd come to a site like this.

Submitted by crispi on Thu, 25/11/2010 - 22:35.

cheek

Submitted by Anon (not verified) on Sun, 02/01/2011 - 13:32.

Although, to mid-forties man above, given how much you have of 'what women like', it's telling that the one woman who actually got to know you well enough to have kids with you then left you.

Must admit, you were doing quite well until you mentioned being intelligent without actually being able to spell it.

Now you just look like Mr Grecian 2000 making a play for chicks down at the garden centre.

Submitted by Anon (not verified) on Wed, 09/02/2011 - 02:11.

Smug mid-forties man! I like your style. PM me your details and maybe I can be your 8th-9th 3-or-4-time shag!

PS. I also have a big cock. And I know where you live.