Gossip (I love it)
I asked Tom to get me a gossip magazine to read - he got me *Love It magazine* it was brilliant but not really a gossip mag, most of it was 'real life stories' about (and graphic pictures of) woeful fat bags with deep self esteem issues and horrific scars* life partners* health conditions* > (*delete as approriate). Best story was of this bird who was about to get married to the love of her life but a week before the wedding she finds him in bed with his mate the head usher and they are bumming. She says:
"the only thing I had kept from Tommy was my wedding dress, but he was hiding something much bigger, much worse. He fancied blokes. Suddenly the whole sick and twisted Jigsaw fell into place. His fear of horror films, his lack of interest in football and all those products...."
I know right? It's like GAYDAR for everyone - sick and twisted jigsaw L - O - L > The artical kind of trails off after that about how she tried to cut off his cock with a bread knife or something. - The crossword was good though - I am reading out the clues for Tom and Dunc:
Me: Volume of Church songs (4, 4)
Dunc: well loud?
Tom: Hymn Book
All: ROFELZZ
Comments
i read love it every week. it comes out on a tuesday and i've read it by wednesday.
it makes me laugh out loud, esp 'top tips' -increasingly odd money-saving tips for utter pikeys
the other day there was one that said 'if your first aid box has run out of finger splints (?) then why not use a coffee stirrer?'
the girl won 60 quid for that one!
another one was 'too poor for after dinner mints? why not freeze a tube of toothpaste and cut it into sections for your guests?'
I'M NOT JOKING. 60 fucking quid.
top tips in that one were - buy a coat with a snazy lining and then turn it inside out when it gets old and shit - the columnist says: this sounds crazy BUT IT REALLY WORKS
that coat was fucking funny. i am proper LOLing just thinking about it.
Post new comment