Merry Crispmas

This year Janit and I went home to my parents for Crispmas she was an insufferable bitch all the way there, non stop moaning why am I in the vet box? what is that smell? what's that noise? JESUS CHRIST why am I in the vet box? etc

Went out to a pub in Maldon with Adam, Erica and Pete on Crimbot Eve where we were examined as foreign specimens due to none of us being particularly chavvy or boaty, luckily none of us bumped into any ghosts from the past but I did get 'recognised' as "Him who wanked hisself to death - Hutchence fella, or his brother" by some bloke who then insisted on buying me a pint and then later on by someone else as "the singer from The Biceps" which made Adam do the laugh he only does on special ocasions (like the time he remembered that the giant panda that didn't want to get sexy with the lady panda in London zoo was called Chi-Chi)

Pete got this photo of me dressed up as Michael Hutchence at a dead famous people fancy dress up on his ipod to show the bloke who thinks i look like him and he did a proper lol then Pete shows the chap a photo of him at the same party dressed as rod hull and gets another big lol then he shows him knuckles at the same party

...he came as george best's liver. The bloke didn't laugh, instead he did a really slow blink and looks at Pete all solemn and he goes "I just don't think that is funny at all" and Pete's ears went all red while me and Erica fell about giggling on the other side of the pub.

I got Janit a robot mouse to chase but it didn't work so I never showed it to her. I don't even think she knew it was Christmas - she was hidden away upstairs the whole time anyway so she never saw the tree or any decorations and also she only has a rudimentary grasp of the calendar. I will fix it in the new year and tell her it is Catmas day on the 10th January.

On the way home i put her in the boot to see if she would complain less, she did but she also did a massive steaming terd just as we hit the M11.

Merry Catmas.