Val DeSire

We went to Val D'isere on the holidays - it is posh there so i am a bit posher since we got back - like when you go to spain and you come back a bit lazier than when you went away...(Is that racist? I think that's racist, yes it's a bit racist ~ true though)

Lots of stuff happened but I can't recall the majority of it as I was pissed out of me head for the most part - I know - good times yeah? brilliant. here are the things I can remember - i suspect this will turn into more of a hasty list of stuff rather than my usual well formed prose bit what the fuck - here it is >

On the first night J was on a right old Clarkson one telling the chalet hosts that teh only people he hated more than Northerners were Australians > then the rest of the people who shared the chalet with us were 3 Northern couples and two Aussie lads.

We invented a cocktail called a Ginger LeeBra which is a cuba libre but with dark rum and grated ginger because they don't have ginger beer in Val D'Isere > it was nice IRL.

After our biggest pissup Duncan bought two bottles of rum for breakfast and we took them and limes and coke and some music up the hill and set up a little kicker and a bar. We were an instant hit with ourselves and enjoyed an imagined celebrity status as we fell around the piste taking our clothes off and wobbling over our tiny jump.

QOTW >>

J: I am sure I am properly ill, I've got sweats and i feel dizzy, stomach ahches, got a headache too...

Tom: Yeah I've got that illness too J, you can catch it by getting totally fucked out of your head for four days and nights non stop

By accident, and because we were a bit pissed most of the time, we all kept discussing substantially inappropriate subjects with our fellow guests at the dinner table - these included:

• people we know who have done time
• people we know who have done time for glassing someone
• twins porn ("Yes it was DEFINITELY real they were identical and licked each other's pussies and EVERYTHING")
• Some MDMA that you bought once that was BLACK and made people puke on the come up but was actually quite good
• FUCK FUCK FUCK > there were loads of these that i noted down on my iPod but as luck would have it we had a party last weekend and some cunt nicked it

RIGHT > I am too moody to write about this anymore so I am stopping now instead here is a tweet@ between me and wicker from this morning:

last night i dreamt that Mickey Rouke phoned me up - apparently i had talked to him in the pub and giv him my # so we could be NBFs LOL

@chimpdonk I can't believe you want to get off with Mickey the Heener Rourke

@Wickerwoo I don't want to get off with him - i was a bit done in when he phoned though because i couldn remember speaking to him AT ALL

@chimpdonk whatevs i saw you talking to him you were well flirty and kept playing with your hair and shaking your tush.it was embarassin.

@Wickerwoo OH GOD > I ALWAYS DO THIS ~ why can't i get drunk like a normal person?