on the slaying of flies

Dear Janit,

I really am so pleased with your progression at the sport of fly killing. I think it safe to say that we are now both fully convinced that paws and claws are much better suited to the task in hand than eyes, as we have previously discussed. However, I do still feel that there is slight room for improvement in your technique ~ you see ideally what we are looking for here is a clean quick kill, one in common with and demonstrative of a benevolent and merciful assassin, the likes of which I am sure we can both agree you aspire to be. I would like to remind you that there is no place for torture in our house, we are civilised decent people and I really would like for you to try, at least, to bare that in mind.

In other words, what I am pushing for, is for you to refrain from just biting their wings off and leaving them spinning about the floor like fitting raisens until I come in, the 'clean up man', to chase them about with a tissue.

Warmest regards

Crispin

P.S. Please do not allow my criticism to detract from my praise.