October 2009

Professional Sounding Celebrity Gossip Podcast - episode 32

Submitted by crispi on Fri, 30/10/2009 - 11:21

...well I say professional sounding but I did forget to turn Wickers mic on until half way through > HOWEVER > Happy Halowe'en me beauties > SO > DID Peter Andre get off with his dog? > K-FAT has lost a bit of weight but is still Fatter than me > Jordan and kids hallowe'en photoshoot special > Donatella Vercace and Lindsey Lohan - TWINS > how many hob nobs can Rik Waller eat in a day? > George Clooney does or doesn't look like someones pervy old dad - discuss > is WILD SEX safe? > AND > Ronan says Boyzone WILL carry on without Steven *PHEW* >

The other things I forgot to do was get breaking news off Gossip feast, queue a song up for the end and plug The Red Rose Comedy Club (this week is SCOTT CAPURRO, AARON COUNTER, SPECIAL GUEST - MAGNUS BETNER, mc: Mike O'Donovan)

milk milk lemonade
round the corner chocklits made

> ps 15 minutes in I realise that only one mic is on and sort it out.

Play > The Crescent - Episode 32 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 32 (mp3)

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

Tags >

don't. go. shopping. when. you're. still. drunk. right?

Submitted by crispi on Wed, 28/10/2009 - 20:07

I wrote this on Sunday morning but then i couldn't get my phone to login to any pic sharing and paul's kids had hidden my camera > blah blah bl;ah now i have sorted both - here is the post >

so on Friday night I got really pissed > I didn't even mean to but suddenly i was megapisseduptodeath - come to think of it I didn't have any tea because I was late and then when I got to the pub there was no time to waste (eating's cheating and all that right?) - actually I did order a pizza but the chorizo on it smelled a bit like cat biscuits so I gave it to Rindsey.

Anyway I had arranged to go shopping the next morning with my lil sister and she woke me from drunken slumberbum at like 10. I'm still properly pissed - with only a slight sense of impending doom and the realisation that i left my dignity at the bar again - but no matter > brief check through the pockets and about my bed and person establishes I did not meet any of the criteria for loser drunk - just really drunk not loser drunk is OK with me (still plenty of opportunity for this to be completely fucking dispelled when I talk to Wicker laters though hah hah).

I got myself a nice top that is funny looking and far too small and a couple of T shirts > there are a couple of things you're not supposed to do when you are shitted, one is surgery - the other is go clothes shopping:

look at this shit > ok first one not so bad > maybe a LITTLE BIT TWEE ...

From blog pics

I bought this one too

From blog pics

... Erica, however bought Pete a fucking SWEET T shirt - i will put a pic of it in the comments laters

Tags >

Celebrity Gossip Jackpot - episode 31

Submitted by crispi on Thu, 22/10/2009 - 12:56

JACKPOT > there are no fat celebz this week > even NATCAS FATCAS is THINCAS > Kelly Osbourn "thinest ever without drugs" (wowowowow) the list goes on > we debating if or how Kater and Peatee's kids are all fucked up and whose fault it is (a bit like the Write stuff or something but more judgmental and less advised) > Wicker must choose her new boyf - Peter Andre OR a chav what lives in tent > Crispin's new bird is either Stacey or Keisha ~ whoever emails in first > TPT TPT (you have to listen to find out what that is) > Wicker also well lezzy for Pamala Anderson > SEX O'CLOCK - what time does your rape alarm go off? > RIP Kanyee West you were a gay fish > Whitney wazza lezza beanz - says Bobby Brooon > housten we have a semi > AND next week we might have a song at the end AND we MIGHT have proper sound...

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,

she had so many children her cunt fell off.

>>>>>message ends<<<<<

At the Red Rose comedy Club this Week:

STEPHEN CARLIN, DANIEL RIGBY, TIFFANY STEVENSON, ELI SILVERMAN

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/event.php?eid=140862086414&index=1

Play > The Crescent - Episode 31 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 31 (mp3)

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

Tags >

Celeb Gossiping with Black Barbie

Submitted by crispi on Thu, 15/10/2009 - 13:03

Gossip is the new black (Black Barbie that is) > Nate Lewin is on the sofa spittin out some proper bitchy shit about > La Roux and her daft Sporticus hair > Jordans fella - Alex Reid = worst tranny EVA > Nicola Roberts as The Corpse Bride > Posh spice ZERO CALORIE FISH AND CHIPS > facebook addict's kid asleeps in a plate of chips *bless* > Danni Minogue's botox *JUSTIFIED* > and SOMEONE needs to have a word with themselves about their top shop dress > Also I done a RAP in the style of Alisha Dixon and I tried to do a link at the end for The Red Rose Comedy Club but i fucked it up a bit so here is a link to thier facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=124486546840&ref=ts

OI > email us celeb stories and shit > crispin@sinktherock.org

If you believe in life after love - listen to this podcast.

Play > The Crescent - Episode 30 (mp3)

Download > The Crescent - Episode 30 (mp3)

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

Tags >

Good morning blog

Submitted by crispi on Wed, 14/10/2009 - 07:03

hello blog, I am writing to you as there is absolutely fuck all else to do.

This morning I have got up very early to go to 'boot camp' with Wicker - this is a very fashionable thing to do, I have read about it in gossip magazines. By all accounts it is running and jumping around Highbury Fields at 6:20 in the morning with a few like minded fashionable girls being chased and shouted at by one really tough woman, I imagine it's a lot like the end of a Benny Hill episode and a little bit like the beginning of Full Metal Jacket.

howevs > after I have rolled my sorry self out of bed at ten to cocking six in the morning (Janit is well confused - she thinks i must be going on holiday or something), had a little bird bath, put clothes on and generally woken my self right up - the shouty lady in charge sends wicker a text to say there is no boot camp this morning because it is raining (fyi it is not raining in Stoke Newington so I very much fucking doubt it is raining in Highbury Fields - well it is raining a little bit but it's not really raining - in my opinion it's not raining unless you can hear that it is raining).

So here I find myself: wide awake and pottering around the house at 6:30 in the morning... I don't have to leave for work for three hours so just what the fuck am i supposed to do? > ... I have ended up trying to do everything really slowly and carefully to waste time - like separating tea bags before putting them in the caddy, actually watching the tea brew, opening the scots porridge oats properly like the instructions say instead of just rippin it open to confirm that it does not 'easily close again' if you do it like what it says (managing to stop myself from getting a stanley blade 'to really do it properly' OH EM GEE > OH SEE DEE) and then write a blog about it.

welcome to my amazing life

Tags >

Comments

number 27 in the pop charts

Submitted by crispi on Fri, 09/10/2009 - 16:50

ahem > now i don't mean to brag BUT > me and wicker have just climbed to our highest ever position in the podcast charts - we are 27th in the WHOLE WORLD

..of amateur podcasts

...in the comedy section

...of podcasts hosted on podomatic

oh ho ho

- still good tho ~ 996 are charted in the comedy section

...and we are at 1206 out of over 60,000 in the overall charts , including all the music ones.

>>>> STATISTICS REPORT ENDS <<<<<

ifancymyselfsomuchimightdie

http://thecrescent.podomatic.com/

I just emailed Wicker the news - she said:

"OMGAAAd CRISPIN

Thats so fucking cool - we're so fucking cool

I just had to go and lock myself in the toilets and have a cry

and then I realised I needed to pull my shit together - so I sang "how can I love you more" to myself in the mirror and then got off with myself

AND NEXT WEEK - we've got Black Barbie as a guest on the SHOW so we could potentially go EVEN HIGHer"

Tags >

the parties > the dresses > the banal lives of mediocre attention sluts - episode 29

Submitted by crispi on Thu, 08/10/2009 - 11:42

celebz celebz celebz > THIS WEEK > Katie Price divorce party bore > Peter Andre = living joke > Jamie hince fancy dress FAIL > we remind ourselves and you that Take That are now and were always, total shit > and try and remember if any of them are gay > Breaking news from GossipFeast and twitter via @celebwhisperer and @CelebrityDB > Simon Cowel explains a VAGINA to his mum > Relationship advice from Jordan (lol) > Nicole Ritchy rear ended > OMG Jennifer Ellison's GIANT SIZED TITS - terrifying > Top Tips > Dynamite sex > and an interesting theory on the common refraction of light into the visible spectrum from the 'Angel Whisperer'.

I like you - you've got a hot face, can I touch your hot face?

Download/ play > The Crescent - Episode 29 (mp3)

Weekly celebrity gossip podcast - The Crescent

Tags >

The Plumber's tap - worst blog ever

Submitted by crispi on Tue, 06/10/2009 - 14:55

so, a couple of weeks back i had a looksy at my blog > it's shit. It's the plumbers tap what always drips ~ I'm (by all accounts) a 'web professional' so it is daft that my personal blog should be a such a limp cock, it's rubbish, it's the worst blog ever, it's full of links to god knows what, bollocky, irrelevant secondary content, voting buttons and little adverts for blog directories that i signed up to in some vain and vain attempt to drive people to read my shit by following some tosser's 10 things to do to get your blog noticed. It's got stupid widgets that make people's browsers hang and crash and it's still run on Drupal 5, eighteen months after the upgrade was released.

Pumped after inspiration from think visibility > and reading this post from Tom Smith's the other blog, coupled with the shock of over a hundred visitors in one day (oh em gee) instead of the usual eight or so, I set to it. Tom asked himself what makes a good blog >

"I think that the best blogs are ones that, like a film, or like an elevator pitch for a film, tells a story or at least starts a story, or even better an Impossible Quest. A memorable blog has built into its concept a trajectory - it’s going somewhere!"

Well that's me fucked then > So then i did some extensive research on the first result on page 1 of google search for 'what makes a great blog' and started reading this post but it was about writing and engaging with the audience and i got bored and went and did something else for a bit.

Then i thought fuck it > Sink the Rock is just a collection of shit, a record of stuff, it doesn't sell anything or even need to be read. It's mine, it's my journal, it's my record, it's my football and I'm going home.

So I re-un-designed it > I upgraded it to Drupal 6 (at last), got rid of all the voting and ranking bullshit and widgets and extra shite popped in a vanity block for most read content and bob's yer pervy uncle this is what is left.

ah sure would 'preciate some comments from y'all... > too stark? - anything i should add? or take away?

Tags >

celebrity gossip quick! we are havin a partee (episode 28)

Submitted by crispi on Thu, 01/10/2009 - 16:43

in our AMAZIN celebrity gossip podcast this week we are fucking with your minds > we did the podacast in the MORNING > usual Kater and peatee shit - they arguing about who is still in love with who now - THE COCKS > Micha Barton w. Canadian tux and Croyden facelift > Some them bitches all specially thin for London fashion week > Kimberly Walsh big curvy FACE > Amy Wineclaart's SICK faith healer weirdo Dr. Creepyhands > 2 in the goo one in the poo > £80 a week COKE HABIT > A well fat SEX kitten in lacey underwear > AND > A lady with a 20 STONE BUM > could you ask for more? could you? really? really really really?