Dear Janit,
It has been so long since my last correspondence and I only wish this letter could be more a discourse of praise but there follows an issue which simply must be addressed. While I can accept your attitude is almost certainly a response to my recent trips away from home there is now a line in the sand, the crossing of which will not be tolerated.
In these occasional instances of my absence I am prepared to accept being sulked at, ignored and treated with disdain for a day or so upon my return. What i refuse to condone is any sort of misbehavior during my absence. In particular the practice of any toiletry anywhere other than the normal designated areas. I thank the Lord that you didn't return to full dirty protest but still, spending half a penny around and about the place is not an intelligent way to register umbrage or anywhere near approaching a dignified way for a lady to behave.
And, for pity's sake, Wicker's Mother came to stay and was forced to bear witness to the whole sordid episode.
To be perfectly frank, you've let me down, you've let Wicker down and you've let yourself down.
Having said that, I am pleased that your apethetic treatment of me only lasted a few hours and I hope that now we can put this sorry affair behind us.
Kindest Regards
love from
Crispin
