I go to yoga wearing a t shirt that says get bent or Ten Benson on it.
I listen to really heavy metal on the way there and back.
This is how worlds collide.
Pete says it's good because it is an hour and a half of enforced stretching and people really should be able to touch their toes.
Once someone actually farted but luckily Pete wasn't at that class so i just about contained myself to a massive grin and occasional sniggers instead of an out and out MEGALOL.
The thing that does my head in though - is the bit at the end where you have to do some relaxing > it's called Savasana - 'corpse pose' or more accurately - 'nap time'. You are suppoed to go super relaxed and feel your breath and not think about anyting - not think about anything? has she even SEEN Ghostbusters? wtf - Then the worst part is when she says you have to surrender your body to the mat - then I'm gone > all I can think about then is that dick who went to live with bears in Canada and they ate him. This is because he filmed it all on his camcorder so there is a video of him being et up by a fucking bear, video evidence of him at the point where human beings accept death and surrender themselves, a video of him totally calm being munched up by a bear while his bird runs around screaming throwing frying pans and shit at it. And this is what i think about when i am not supposed to be thinking about stuff during Savasana - that and Ghostbusters.
this is not a video of the man being eaten by the bear - it is a video of how to do nap time > it is not just lying down OK?
I go to yoga in Stoke Newington - famous for rich pretend hippies with idiot hobbies like yoghurt weaving - My sister also lives in Stoke Newington and she has a wheat allergy - a real one, she didn't contract it from living in stoke Newington too long or going to Fresh and Wild too often - she is allergic in real life, it means she has a genuine physical allergic reaction to wheat - not that 'it makes her feel a bit bloated' - I would like to make that perfectly clear before I share this messenger conversation with you:
Crispin: OK I will come round yours after I been to yogabobs Erica: can you bring gluten free plain flour if you have any f&W had sold out Crispin: ok Crispin: ohoho lol i have to take it to yoga might make a big fuss so everyone can see what it is Erica: yep - they will think you are showing off lol Crispin: OH I'LL JUST POP MY GLUTEN FREE FLOUR OVER HERE Erica: haha Crispin: NOW WHERE IS MY TRAIL MIX? I PREFER IT TO REAL SWEETS YOU KNOW SO DO MY KIDS Erica: earth and twig Crispin: L O L ...they are very advanced you know probably because i don't have a telly THAT'S RIGHT NO TELLY
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A friend of mine said recently that yoga classes were supposed to be good places to find potential boyfriends - I said well I guess I just pissed all over that theory...
