Crispin is a grown up but sometimes he is a bit drunk and can't keep the house tidy. He lives in North London with (good friend) Wicker and (bad cat) Janit in a flat that looks like the one from Three Men and a Baby - it has a spiral staircase and exposed brickwork AND EVERYTHING. Crispin is Tom Selek, Wicker is Steve Gutenburg and Janit is Ted Danson - we are yet to acquire the baby.
Every week Crispin does a podcast with Wicker about Celebrity Gossip called 'The Crescent' - it is them two showing off like they think they are internet famous or something.
Occasionally he will write a letter to Janit and post it here to serve her right - later on the letters are checked for spelling mistakes by people with a grasp of that sort of thing, illustrated by his sister Erica and made into books and stuff - soon to be available on Janit's own site (when Crispin can be arsed to build it).
You can find Crispin on BookFace here where he is described thus:
"a ruthless conniving villain and devilishly cunning to boot, a violent, dangerous, cantankerous man, hated by everyone who comes across me - a bit like Skelator"
...and currently represented by almost 800 photos of him drunk or looking stupid.
He has a twitter account @chimpdonk (which has been known to produce some of the most banal and inane tweets with swearing in that you have probably ever read, you prick). Sometimes he will post with the hashtag #mischiefatwork and try and get other people to join in but no-one ever does. Similarly on older message boards and alike will be hiding under the name chimp-donk, chimp_donk or some such nonsense. See evidence of that here > Flickr > MySpace > Stumble > B3ta.com > Last FM
When asked for his own input to this page he said:
"I really like robots, monkeys, coleslaw and snow, I don't like tripe or funky house. I swear a lot and I cannot fucking spell at all."
...
Defence rests.
