Dear Janet
I am very pleased with your progress in combating your agoraphobia. It is with this in mind that I feel I must apologise and explain my actions this morning. I can’t tell you how encouraged by your repeated requests to be let out of the window this morning and refused only on some misleading advice from that hungry looking woman who does the weather on morning T.V. That purjurous cow swore blind that it would rain all day and now I am sure you can imagine my guilt and disappointment as I look at the blue cloudless sky and think of you all cooped up in the flat thinking of the myriad ways you can sulk at me upon my return. I can assure you that it was my belief that putting you out in the rain all day would only serve to
