sulk

Dear Janet

I don’t think you should sulk so much on the rare occasions that I bring young ladies back to the flat.

It is unbecoming of a cat of your breeding and sophistication. I would also like to point out that I did not sulk when you would disappear for hours on end doubtless fornicating with every Tom-Cat Dick or Harry in North London.

Do let us try and be grown ups about this.

Love from

Crispin

Dear Janet

As you know you are just about my favourite thing on the planet and stroking you is right up there with ‘taking off in a plane’ and ‘laughing until a bit of sick comes up’ in my top ten things to do. However I would like to stress that I am quite capable of reading a newspaper and stroking you at the same time. If you want to sit on my lap that is absolutely fine, I can still read the paper if it is beside me on the chair, it only becomes difficult to multitask when you are