breakfast

Dear Janet

There is no need to dance when I am preparing your breakfast. You are never staving. In fact, to be ruthless, I think you might be just a little overweight.

If a breakfast consisting of biscuits that smell of old chicken bones and shoes is the highlight of your day, I fear you may be beyond help. Why don’t you have another think about taking up a hobby?

Love always

Crispin

Dear Janet

Humans can count, I believe that cats are too, capable of this. At least I am certain that you can count to one. One is the number of breakfasts that you are allowed. It really is that simple.

Love from Crispin

P.S. I remain convinced that your grace and rotundity are directly disproportional.