Dear Janet
I would like you to redouble your efforts on rendering my bedroom a spider free zone. This morning I saw one with a huge sausage of a body and whiskers almost as big as yours. His presence did not aid the recovery from last nights over indulgence of gin and quite put me off my breakfast.
I don’t mind if you must eat them but you must remember that I would rather not bare witness to the meal.
You help in this matter is greatly appreciated.
Crispin