Allergy

Dear Janet

Contrary to your belief Jim does not hate you. There is a plain and valid reason that he neglects to pay you the same attention you so deservedly receive from me and our other housemates. He is allergic to cats. If he were even to stroke you once his eyes would swell up to the size of eggs and he would cry like a little girl thus betraying his macho exterior.

I hope this information goes some way to easing any paranoid thoughts you had and trust that you will not use it for any sort of mischief such as rolling about on his pillow when we are all out at work.