That there below is the video to 64A5R by Disco Bitch - the proper Disco Bitch, the original rave punk outfit from Essex formed when we were still at school not the French house sissies discobitch, or the sexeh model/ Artist lady Disco-Bitch from Noo Yoik...
Disco Bitch is the funnest band ever - we were 14 or 15 when we started out and as most of the songs were written then they are mostly about computer games and telly programmes. We did have one song that started off being about the frivolity of wearing an Anti Nazi League badge but it almost immediately deteriorated into just telling everyone to fuck off (you can be very cross when you are 15 if you try even just a little bit). We played loads of amazing gigs, smashed up some shopping trolleys and showed off like nobody's business ~ until, a bit like summer of '69, everyone went of to university or France or whatever and Disco Bitch was no more.
[colon apostrophe open bracket]
...until a few years back when Stafford Glover held a reunion of 90s Colchester bands and Disco Bitch was asked to reform - Adam (rabbit head) and Nick spent months coaxing the original quartet tunes off ancient 3 1/2 inch floppy discs and a Atari STE that had gone yellow and was 30% dust and I rooted around under my bed and in boxes and that to find old lyrics preserved in school rough books. Patience paid off and originals (Nintendude, Go Fishing, Chase HQ, BDU etc) were transferred to wav ~ some beauties, such as the aforementioned Anti Anti could not be saved and had to be 1/2 remembered and rewritten on proper computers.
The gig we did was too much fun so we do a couple of gigs a year as log as it isn't too much of a pain > incedentally next gig is on the 1st October at the Silver Bullet in Finsbury Park see you THERE - you can chirpse us up on twitter if you want to book us (but we will need loads of notice and beer).
Here we are then, almost 20 years on still jumping about in our pants and vests pretending we are 15.
"The song is about discount alcohol deals and how AWESOME they are. It is a poetical political protest song. The UK government plans to ban cheap alcohol deals. Disco Bitch believe that 6 cans of continental strength lager for 5 pounds is the backbone of British partying. Stop this madness!
Shot on Canon 550D at Practice Studios, Sheffield before Disco Bitch played a legendary gig at The Harley, Sheffield."
Here are some more links for the (original and best) Disco Bitch <3 <3 <3
Not 'really just a cold' flu or 'actually a hangover' flu or 'just couldn't be arsed to go to work ' flu, actual flu. Actual flu is different from other types of flu in that a doctor tells you that you have it and gives you a prescription for antibiotics (even though flu is a virus and anti-biotics fight infection he is a doctor and he knows about these things - something to do with lungs and sinuses). It also differs from the common cold in that you can't just self medicate with booze to get rid of it.
For clarity here are the symptoms of actual flu:
refusal to believe you are ill when everyone tells you you look like you are in a black and white film
insatiable desire for sweet things and mini chedders
loss of appetite at your girlfriend's special birthday tea
massive hacking cough like a deathbed Victorian TB sufferer
every so often sweating like a fat person eating a curry in a sauna
50% hot so hot sooo hot you must be nudie immediately (or keep pants on for decorum)
50% cold so cold sooo coold - where are my fucking clothes? give me back my clothes
I like my doctor - he said god had blessed me with very good health because I hadn't been to the doctors for 9 years or something - I had to tell him that actually I had paid a few visits to various A&E departments during that time ~ predominantly at our local Hommerton University Hospital, and a few times to the sexily transmitted diseases clinic - and that I had actually been to his surgery a couple of times for tetanus jabs ~ he assured me i was still blessed.
bless up doc
Incidentally last time i went for a tetanus jab nursey told me that I have had so many tetanus jabs now that i don't ever need to have another one even if I am bitten by a rusty robot dog with big dirty old 6 inch nails for teeth. Howaboutthatthen?
You know this thing? The Last Barman Poet - it's like the Aristocrats joke but for Poets - everyone writes a poem based on the performance poetry that Tom Cruise does in Cocktail ~ this is the one from the film:
I wrote a poem for it and went to submit it but looks like they don't take submissions - I didn't have a mood about it of course because I have my own publishing platform right fucking here.
so here is is:
The Antepenultimate Barman Poet
I am the antepenultimate barman poet I had a scene in the bit before the fat yuppie got up on the stairs Bryan also read a poem but both ended up on the cutting room floor which was a shame in a way because Bryan’s one was quite moving if a little naive and mine was the only screen time I ever had, apart from showing my penis to Cagney out of Cagney and Lacey in the opening credits for season 2 and Tom stole my snazzy / Kamikaze rhyme
the cunt
[EDIT - I'm a cock ~ they do take submissions and I submitted it thx @emmahammondpoet ]
Maybe you remember this maybe you don't but I used to be in a band called 'The Biceps' we were pretty cool I can tell you. Obviously there were massive efforts from all and sundry to try and sign us - sometimes our gigs would literally be a pit of A&R people fighting like Rachel Ticotin and Sarron Stone in Total Recall and no room for the real music fans. That's why we had to give it up in the end - it had already had it's soul ripped out by the man and had teh love destroyed before we even got signed and did world tours and got ourselves drug problems.
*sigh*
...anyway - when we were in this band Nick used to make pop videos for us - here is one he found 1/2 done the other day in his pile of incomplete projects ~ and so he finished it off:
I remember us pottering around Stoke Newington with a camera, a big O and a big K, and a cardboard and tin foil robot head - funteims.
I also remember the lady from the funded playground giving us a mega bollocking and implying we were peados for taking pictures of the gate without permission - then 5 seconds later when Nick had ROBO-CHIRPSED her up (and she found out WHO we were obviously) she was giving us a tour of teh facility and suggesting good places for a sexy robot shoot.
Right so where HAS all my shit gone and why haven't I posted anything for weeks and weeks? Well my lovlies ~ in short it was all gettin much here so I split it all up to three sites - then i neglected ol sink the rock because of having two new sites to play with - which are:
The Crescent - has moved to http://www.CelebrityGossipPodcast.com so it has it's own proper site and isn't getting in the way of my other bullshit and making me look bad when the 6 latest posts are not from my blog. Also I hilariously lost almost all of our four thousand subscribers by moving teh feed address - lucky for us we couldn't give a shit and we just pretend we still have loads of subscribers so our vanity does not suffer and we can keep showing off like nobodies business...
Dear Janit - Janit now has her own site as well where I am rewriting the letters one by one so they don't have spelling mistakes and the grammar is ever so slightly a little bit less wrong. Every letter is illustrated by my sister now as well so it actually looks liek a proper blog - MEOW
Sink the Rock - remains the worst blog ever with no clear direction or coherent focus, low readership, questionable taste and less than frequent updates.
...well happy birthday to me really - seeing as it is MY birthday not Sink the Rock's birthday.
I love birthdays don't you? I think I prefer them when they are not mine though - I'm not being a misery > promise. In fact thinking about it my absolute favourite bit of birthdays is when your colleague knows that you absolutely fucking love it when all the people who sit near you in the office come and stand around your desk and make you eat some fucking cake so he goes and buys some cake and tells everyone so come and stand round your desk. Dave isn't in today though and no one has mentioned the birthday thing so I might get away with it > but of course - facebook exists - so maybemaybeMAYBE someone else will have taken up the mantle in his absence omgomgomg fingers crossed > I can hardly contain my apathy.
The other thing about birthdays is you get to go out, get really drunk and make everyone fully aware that you are the centre of attention - but I do that about three nights out of seven anyway - so not really a super-killer USP.
ho hum what a miserable cunt - ho ho > it's just for fun you know - not real misery.
ANYWAY > in other more important news I am ranked 7th out of thirty million on Google for worst blog ever - because of the plumber's tap worst blog ever post and me consequently writing worst blog ever in the site title - I wonder if i can get to number fucking one with some links? I don't think the competition is very hot - if you link to my blog in your blogroll or whatever and wanted to help me in my vanity project - you could put 'worst blog ever' in the text or title of the link - nice one > oh > that would be good and nice birthday present from you - thanks everso x
...for ease - here is the code:
<a href="http://www.sinktherock.org" title="worst blog ever - Sink the Rock">Sink the Rock - worst blog ever</a>
P.S. thanks for all the social media birthday wishes
I wrote this on Sunday morning but then i couldn't get my phone to login to any pic sharing and paul's kids had hidden my camera > blah blah bl;ah now i have sorted both - here is the post >
so on Friday night I got really pissed > I didn't even mean to but suddenly i was megapisseduptodeath - come to think of it I didn't have any tea because I was late and then when I got to the pub there was no time to waste (eating's cheating and all that right?) - actually I did order a pizza but the chorizo on it smelled a bit like cat biscuits so I gave it to Rindsey.
Anyway I had arranged to go shopping the next morning with my lil sister and she woke me from drunken slumberbum at like 10. I'm still properly pissed - with only a slight sense of impending doom and the realisation that i left my dignity at the bar again - but no matter > brief check through the pockets and about my bed and person establishes I did not meet any of the criteria for loser drunk - just really drunk not loser drunk is OK with me (still plenty of opportunity for this to be completely fucking dispelled when I talk to Wicker laters though hah hah).
I got myself a nice top that is funny looking and far too small and a couple of T shirts > there are a couple of things you're not supposed to do when you are shitted, one is surgery - the other is go clothes shopping:
look at this shit > ok first one not so bad > maybe a LITTLE BIT TWEE ...
hello blog, I am writing to you as there is absolutely fuck all else to do.
This morning I have got up very early to go to 'boot camp' with Wicker - this is a very fashionable thing to do, I have read about it in gossip magazines. By all accounts it is running and jumping around Highbury Fields at 6:20 in the morning with a few like minded fashionable girls being chased and shouted at by one really tough woman, I imagine it's a lot like the end of a Benny Hill episode and a little bit like the beginning of Full Metal Jacket.
howevs > after I have rolled my sorry self out of bed at ten to cocking six in the morning (Janit is well confused - she thinks i must be going on holiday or something), had a little bird bath, put clothes on and generally woken my self right up - the shouty lady in charge sends wicker a text to say there is no boot camp this morning because it is raining (fyi it is not raining in Stoke Newington so I very much fucking doubt it is raining in Highbury Fields - well it is raining a little bit but it's not really raining - in my opinion it's not raining unless you can hear that it is raining).
So here I find myself: wide awake and pottering around the house at 6:30 in the morning... I don't have to leave for work for three hours so just what the fuck am i supposed to do? > ... I have ended up trying to do everything really slowly and carefully to waste time - like separating tea bags before putting them in the caddy, actually watching the tea brew, opening the scots porridge oats properly like the instructions say instead of just rippin it open to confirm that it does not 'easily close again' if you do it like what it says (managing to stop myself from getting a stanley blade 'to really do it properly' OH EM GEE > OH SEE DEE) and then write a blog about it.
ahem > now i don't mean to brag BUT > me and wicker have just climbed to our highest ever position in the podcast charts - we are 27th in the WHOLE WORLD
..of amateur podcasts
...in the comedy section
...of podcasts hosted on podomatic
oh ho ho
- still good tho ~ 996 are charted in the comedy section
...and we are at 1206 out of over 60,000 in the overall charts , including all the music ones.
